*This is NOT quite a love story.* This is getting to know someone completely new in 6 months.
Quick Intro: We met in December, chatted for ages on our first date with an impatient waitress trying to take our order. He was tall, toned, wore a tight burgundy top, regular jeans and had similar facial features of Jamiroquai. We went through the ‘honeymoon period’, celebrated New year’s together, mostly dancing, getting drunk and making out on one of the sofas in the bar, not caring who was watching. We have met up every week since. (We live an hour away from one another.)
February 2014: (Relationship stage.)
Why am I drawn to this guy?
I mean, seriously. We do not share many interests. A small example is he loves Tupperware… As I bring through a cup of tea, he watches my every move, but not in that stalker-type way, but more like observing me – acknowledging me. As a matter of fact, it feels good. He has this sex appeal of a reserved, isolated, mysterious man. For some reason, I like it.
His small, blue eyes are rather adorable, especially when he wears glasses. I’ve never been attracted to a man in glasses, until now.
His hair is short but curly and a bit all over the place. He’s starting to go slightly grey on the sides already! It needs a good trim… His soft stubble adds to the manliness of his toned arms and broad chest. Not too striking or over-defined, but enough to want a big bear hug. I’ve noticed his skin is extremely soft to the touch, perhaps from taking medication for his suffering of psoriasis. He said he used to get it badly and it affected his social life and his confidence. This perhaps created that isolation, depression and the need to focus on what makes him happy – his hobbies.
I need to give him time to completely open up to me. His deep, soft voice and focused nature relaxes me, and he still holds great in-depth conversations and I don’t feel awkward around him. He understands me and is a good listener, but sometimes his mind wanders back to his own interests and I’ve noticed he tends to change the subject quite often. For some reason, I still can’t get annoyed at him. He isn’t stubborn or abrupt (like me); if I’m upset, I’ve noticed he cares immensely. From experience, this is quite rare to find this kind of trait from a man in his 20s.
His interests of collecting comics, action figures and survival gear seem completely out of the ordinary. However, if there was ever an apocalypse, I now know who to run to! He even brought out his air rifles in which I practiced hitting his target boards at the end of his garden! I was quite good actually, but the rifles were pretty heavy!
Update – *We were put off by the pressures and expectations of the relationship ‘label’, and it caused tension. Therefore we called it off, but that has actually worked out better for us.*
He’s making me laugh so much as he re-enacts movie quotes in an over exaggerating, dramatic way. His use of comic book grammar cracks me up! When he uses phrases like : “Do you wish to resent or deny the power and wrath of me…?!” (Made that up) or the classic “With great power, comes great responsibility” – Narrator of Spiderman and all that jazz. His sarcasm and cheekiness adds to the fun of it all, as well as his funny giggle. I didn’t realise how many comics were still around until we walked into WHSmith one day and I would buy the usual popular books and fashion magazines, whereas I would find him buying the latest comics!
He’s done a pretty good job of trimming that hair. Short on the sides, and quite thick on the top. I guess that is the style these days, and it suits him. I’m very impressed that he does it all himself and never goes to the hairdressers. Whereas I would make a day of going to salon, as well as fitting a massage and a spray tan in I suppose!
When it comes to being blunt, he’s a bit too good at it, and doesn’t beat around the bush. He’s already said that he prefers me with longer hair when I had to have it all cut off, as well as coming out with saying he prefers more petite girls. (Even though I’m size 10 and 5″5.) I don’t think he realises that saying these things could highly offend others, luckily I have body confidence so I didn’t take it into account as much.
I wrap myself in his Marvel blanket as he slips on his Batman pajamas, and we huddle up on his sofa to watch Rise of the Planet of the Apes. He’s getting excited and preparing us for the new Dawn of The Planet of the Apes. We have done this a lot lately – watching old films to prepare for the new one. Examples have been The Amazing Spider Man 2, X-Men Days of Future Past, Godzilla. His excitement passes on to me, and we both get into deep discussions after every film.
He’s brought round yet more vegetable plants to put in my garden. I become excited to see how they will grow – well, it’s a record for me to step foot in the garden for more than 5 minutes to actually becoming interested in any form of gardening! I look at him in awe as he plants to vegetables in a little patch he’s dug up for me, as well as watering them all.
From our lack of dating lately I could tell he spent most of his money on his interests, as he would rather make me packed lunch of homemade tuna burgers, smoked salmon sandwiches and fresh smoothies rather than us go out for a meal. An example: He waits for a package nearly every other day, and is in constant access with eBay and I reckon he spends nearly £100 a month on his collection. However, to even it out, he does sell a lot of unwanted comics and figures. You should see his garage though… Boxes and boxes full of them. I guess if I released my inner geek I would have a lot of Pokemon collectibles…Let’s not get into that.
Our recent trip was on his raft last week, where he used his handy electric pump that connects to the cigarette lighter in his car. (I swear to god he is the next Bear Grylls or Ray Mears.) We took turns in rowing along the River near where he lives, and I took a few photos (on his high tech Canon camera of course) of ducks and their cute little chicks. He took a few natural photos of me and the surroundings. He says he wants to take me to so many places, including camping (!) and take me out trips that he used to enjoy alone. It was tranquil, peaceful, and I was content – when I’m with him, I escape from reality.
Epilogue: Our friendship/relationship/whatever it is has continued since we dated in December – This was our very first encounter. He was cute, chatty, and a bit of a reserved oddball. I’ve never met someone like him before and I didn’t think we would become this close after 6 months. Heck, I didn’t even think we would continue hanging out after all this time! We were two completely different people, but somehow we have continued to merge into each other’s interests. If I look beyond our contrasts of materialism and work ethics, perhaps we do share more interests than I thought after all. Wildlife, films, travelling, eating well, and exploring. He brings out my outdoorsy side, which is great for the upcoming Summer!
Here are a few highlights about his lifestyle:
- HUGE collector personality. Not messy, as that would be a hoarder.
- Survivalist – he has many knives, combat and camping gear, a huge inflatable raft, tent, rifles, lifejacket. Basically, he’s prepared for an apocalypse if there ever was one. (I’m sure deep down he hopes.) There’s being prepared, and then there’s him.
- Self employed gardener, handyman and dog walker.
- Comic book collector – mostly Marvel, DC comics, Masters of The Universe, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Superhero stuff.
- Action and Horror figure collector. Same as comic book examples above. As well as all Alien designs, superheroes, all classic horror villains from Freddy Krueger to American Werewolf. He buys all action figures from Neca or Mattel.
- Fan of many horror films. He has a huge Texas Chainsaw Massacre poster on his wall and so on…
- Looks after plants and vegetables delicately, and a big wildlife lover.
- Loves non-mainstream 80’s music, as I realised from his MP3 player in his car; (his car has a Transformers metal silver logo stuck on the back of his car.)
- An explorer
- After all this, he has a great fashion sense. No typical geeky baggy clothing you would expect from someone with these traits. He is toned, tanned (from tanning beds as it helps his psoriasis on his back), looks after his appearance , eats very healthily and is extremely cheeky and affectionate. His personality may come across as quite reserved, but once you get talking, it doesn’t stop. He is proud of everything he does, and will do anything to not fit into common society.
- His work ethic – He would rather “work for himself than do a mundane job where you work for some high-up prick who looks down on you and will get all the money from your dirty work.” Welcome to the real world… Where he doesn’t want to be.
- Only child – which is probably why his hobbies play a big part in his life.
- 28 years of age
- Still lives with his parents